Rant.
So I am cruising the internet; it’s a particularly slow day at work.
I stumble on this. My blood boils. «Cue inner rage.»
Lindsay, you are a total fucking waste. You’ve been handed a remarkably posh existence based off one decent movie, your incessant need to flash your cooter, potentially sapphic tendencies and drunken exploits.
Through legal wrangling, the cultural obsession with celebrity and $$$, you’ve managed to avoid facing any real consequences for the bullshit (THE VERY ILLEGAL BULLSHIT) you’ve pulled. And now, after years of shenanigans, a judge finally gave you what you deserve—to be accountable for your actions as all of us must be.
I have always been sympathetic to your “plight;” a child star totally used by bat shit crazy fame-whoring parents is incredibly sad. The Hollywood machine must be a lonely place for a stupid, insecure brat.
But this nonsense about a light 90-day sentence being a violation of your human rights? Fuck you. Read this. Scour this. Burn this and this and this into what is left of your brain. THESE are human rights violations. I will give you credit for citing the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights. And I do hope you are safe while serving your sentence. And take heart—LA faces such ridiculous levels of prison overcrowding that you will probably serve a day or so. If at all.
But my unsolicited advice is for you to lay low, stay quiet and feign some level of perspective. Apologize. SHUT THE FUCK UP (I cannot stress how important this is.) Your rambling tweets and victimization are tired and undeserved. The movie roles, party invites and respect may return if you follow these instructions. And think about your role in the universe and how fucking lucky you are.
